Before you Dance with Gossip

Before You Dance with Gossip, do this:

I am going to get right to the point.

Before you listen and take in the “well I heard…” as truth, ask yourself these two questions:

1. Is it true?

2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

If either one of these questions is a “No” or an “I don’t know” - LET IT GO.

This is the quickest way to stop studio gossip (or any gossip for that matter).

As a studio owner, I can list a thousand stories that I’ve heard over the years about myself that were absolutely NOT TRUE. These stories spread like wildfire all because no one actually stopped to question if it was actually true or not.

There have been many decisions that I’ve made in the past that never made it through the filter questions “Is it true?” and “Can I absolutely know that it’s true?” As hindsight is often 20/20, I could have saved myself so much stress and unwarranted judgment, blame, resentment and anger if I would have stopped for a moment, taken a deep breath and asked the two very simple questions.

1. Is it True?

2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?

This awareness came to me the first time I attended a dance convention as ONLY a dance mom. Up until this point in time, I was a studio director, which meant I put up a strong personal wall between me and the outside world, at any event. As a highly sensitive person and an Empath, I knew the importance of making sure I was doing what I needed to do so that I could stay centered and focused.

My ritual was set. Start the morning with a meditation to set the intentions for the day and weekend, leave when I needed to, journal or read -- all things that would allow me to stay in a space of gratitude and to not get caught up in the whirlwind of energy that surrounded me. Amidst the loud music, busy hallways, parents planning food runs, bright lights and the occasional stress of someone forgetting their costume piece, I found truth in the coined term “Convention Hangover” that happens on Monday when the dust settles.

Give me an AMEN if you know what I mean!

So I prepared myself.

Stay centered.

Stay in gratitude.

Love it all.

This was my mantra during the day. After so many years of doing this and preparing for events this way, I guess I just got good at tuning out anything that was going to kill my vibe.

(And when vibe-killers were amongst me, there was wine in a sippy-cup to bring ease)

On the morning of my first day as an official dance mom, the only thing I was preparing was my daughter; our primary goal was making sure we got out of the door on time. After we got settled into class and I took my observer seat (as a dance mom), I began to tune in like I have never done before.

Since I wasn’t a studio owner, my guard wasn’t up. My ears bounced from conversation to conversation, soaking in the buzz of early morning gossip. These little gossip pods were everywhere. A pack of parents by the bathroom, another outside the ballroom, a few in the corner inside the dance room. For a moment I felt like I was swimming in the sounds of negativity and chaos. It’s noteworthy I mention that all of this happened before the last drop of Starbucks kissed my lips.

I was in shock.

And then it came to me. No wonder some dance teachers (me included) put up such a wall around them at these events! The energy from of the negativity is absolutely debilitating. Very few, if any, can thrive under such harsh, critical and ill-targeted behavior.

Wow! Talk about a personal “Aha” moment.

And then that thought thread began to develop…

“What kind of space are we creating for the dancers to learn in?” The body naturally reacts to negative energy by tensing up and people intuitively feeling insecure and unhappy. If gossip and negative behavior is occurring in the dance room, the dancers are subconsciously reacting to the energy in the room. How is this affecting their overall ability to learn and to be at their peak performance state?

Another “Aha” moment.

So then I asked, “what is our overall intention as a dance mom?” and “how are our actions enhancing the space for our dancers to thrive?”

What is the bigger role that we play? Do we acknowledge that and can we consciously choose to participate in making the dance world a more positive place?

We all are woven into the fabric of this community and each one of us (dancer, teacher, studio owner, convention teacher, dance mom and dance dad) play a significant role and can shift the experience for everyone, bringing in more Love, Acceptance, Creativity, Happiness and Success.

Before you chose to create a judgment or bias from what someone said or heard, don’t forget to ask yourself those two simple questions:

1. Is it True?

2. Can I absolutely know that it is True?

Thanks for reading! As always, it is my highest intent to share my story to inspire others and to increase our ability to LOVE and Support one another….each one of us Dancing towards Greatness.

Much LOVE-


We create the energy for our children to THRIVE



​​Julie Nguyen

Tel: 303.204.9763


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